No one had ever heard of someone getting addicted to Xbox. They all told me it was a phase and that I should try to limit my son’s game playing. They didn’t understand that I couldn’t. He had lost touch with reality. My son lost interest in everything else. He didn’t want to eat, sleep or go to school; the game was the only thing that mattered to him. When I told him to get offline, he yelled, screamed and, once, he pushed me. This isn’t my son. He’s a quiet and loving boy. Now, I don’t know who [he] is.*
At their best, gaming and the Internet are simply entertainment. “They are brief escapes from real-world pressures — no more harmful than pedicures, jogging or Rangers games,” asserts Chris Jones, a counselor with Lifeworks Counseling in Dallas. “Most children are able to keep gaming and the Internet in perspective. In fact, 85 percent of today’s youth report they are able to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships and cope with whatever the world throws at them.”
The problem lies with the other 15 percent.
These are the kids who are hooked, snatching up controllers the moment they walk in the door from school. The line is drawn between addiction and fixation when a child spends anywhere from five to seven hours a day playing video games, computer games and surfing the ’net, according to local psychology experts who spoke to DallasChild. Addiction is when you see kids whose grades are plummeting (despite being exceptionally bright), whose social lives are faltering and whose other interests are dimming.
It’s a harsh term for a sad situation. And, the problem is not limited to video games but extends to other Internet activities, especially online gaming — different poison, same result. Jones notes that blogging, IMing and texting are much more common among girls than boys, yet present the very same addictive possibilities.
The siren call of the screen
At their worst, gaming and the Internet are simply addictive. Games are designed to leave your kids wanting more, increasing their need to keep playing.
Part of the appeal, especially to young boys, lies in the edginess of the content, according to Common Sense Media, a nonprofit organization aimed at protecting kids from today’s onslaught of media. Kids get a jolt by playing first-person shooting games. And, alarmingly, the time spent playing — especially online and multiplayer games — rivals the amount of time kids watch TV. On top of it, warns the watchdog group, games can be expensive, their privacy levels vary widely and they can model behavior you never want to see in your child.
But like any other type of addiction, video game dependence (whether online or through TV) can be a clinical impulse-control disorder in the same sense as compulsive gambling. It can also serve as the mask to other psychological issues.
“Fifteen percent of children are depressed at any given time,” Jones explains. “One unique and unifying characteristic of these children is that they often struggle with the conflict between ideals they dream about and the reality they observe. Video games and the Internet offer a solution to this psychological and emotional confusion. These children can live in an imaginary environment over which they seem to have total control.”
A study by Dr. Douglas Gentile, director of research for the National Institute on Media and the Family (NIMF), and Harris Interactive found that 8.5 percent of youth video gamers ages 8 to 18 showed pathological patterns of video game play. They spent twice as much time playing games as the “healthy” gamers, were more likely to have video game systems in their bedrooms, reported having more trouble paying attention at school, received poorer grades in school, had more health problems and were more likely to feel "addicted."
The pull to numb their problems and boost their egos online (specifically through gaming) can be undeniable for these pre-teens and adolescents. In fact, experts are attempting to classify “Internet Addiction Disorder” (IAD) as a recognized illness in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
"Gamers and parents should be alert for warning signs before it becomes a problem,” Gentile warns.
How can you tell if your child is addicted? Behavior might include loss of sleep, crankiness when away from games or Internet communications, social isolation and lying about both the amount of time spent online and contacts made through online communication.
“However, it is important that people realize that playing a lot is not the same as an addiction — the play has to damage functioning, such as by hindering school performance," Gentile notes.
Introvert vs. extrovert
Parents of kids who have always been socially reserved may need to keep an eye on increasing gaming time as a possible indicator of growing social discomfort. “There are no awkward interactions in the gaming world,” Jones explains. “Shy kids can pretend to be as strong, bright and confident as they wish.”
If you suspect your shy child is taking cover behind the computer screen, Jones encourages engaging with supportive real-world social experiences. “This can be as simple as having your child ordering his own food in a restaurant or encouraging and role modeling your child to speak with their teacher about a concern with grading,” he said.
Participating in recreational activities with your child is also helpful. “Find something nontraditional and less threatening if necessary, such as Frisbee golf, go-carting or remote-controlled planes,” Jones recommends. “Just think. If you are not willing to spend time with your child, what message does that convey? Does it support the world they want to live in or the world as they see it?”
Outgoing kids who get buried in gaming are usually coming from a different angle. If your once-energetic child begins pulling away from real human interaction for the sanctuary of video odyssey, Jones says, take it as a call to examine what’s going on in his life. “He could be struggling with something in the news, a failed test, a break-up, a disagreement you had with him,” he explains. “Look for a triggering event that has prompted ‘tuning out.’”
Why gaming is so disconcerting
A 2006 study from the NPD Group, a market research firm providing news and information for various industries, shows that 45 percent of heavy video-game players and nearly a third of avid gamers are in the 6- to 17-year-old age group. And it’s not just boys who are getting their game on. Forty-three percent of all gamers are female, according to a 2005 study by the Entertainment Software Association.
Christi Swanner of Plano was initially afraid to buy a handheld Nintendo for her 8-year-old daughter for just that reason. “I have a friend whose little boy can sit through the entire conversation at the dinner table without ever looking up,” she shares with a shudder.
Video games can be deeply immersive, and that’s especially attractive to kids who have free rein to indulge. “Moderation of time and content are the keys to any form of entertainment, whether it’s video games, movies or even books,” explains Jones.
In fact, across the board, all major medical associations (think American Academy of Pediatrics, National Institute of Mental Health, etc.) recommend that children’s screen time (video and computer) should be limited to one to two hours a day, max. And, more specifically, children younger than 2 shouldn’t be in front of a screen at all.
But what is so specifically damaging about video games, even in moderation? Are they simply too violent? Are they negatively influencing our children? Are they ruining their health … their attention spans … even their moral values?
The U.S. Senate passed an act earlier this year authorizing even more research into the effects of electronic media, including video games, on children and teens. According to the National Institute on Media and the Family (NIMF), there are several long-term consequences tied to video-game overindulgence, such as an increase in antisocial activity and aggressive bullying, as well as a decrease in empathy for victims of violence.
And those first-person-shooter video games? According to Common Sense Media studies, “The intimacy of the mayhem and murder pack such a huge emotional punch that they alter brain chemistry.”
Violence is said to be the most controversial issue surrounding children and video games — but it’s really not so controversial at all. Experts, scientists and parents all agree: Video violence and children don’t mix. The NIMF cites research that shows playing a large amount of violent video games (about such as Gears of War, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, God of War II and Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops) increases children’s risks of physical aggression in school by 42 percent over children who play G-rated games (from Disney’s Cinderella’s Dollhouse and Finding Nemo to Mario Party 2 or Zoo Tycoon).
Notably, the American Academy of Pediatrics concluded that "playing violent video games leads to adolescent violence like smoking leads to lung cancer."
In fact, Common Sense Media reports that in a study of third and fourth graders, reducing TV and video game consumption to less than one hour per day decreased verbal aggression by 50 percent and physical aggression by 40 percent.
Another commonly cited issue related to video gaming is the link between obesity and children’s use of electronic media. Children between ages 8 and 18 spend more time (44.5 hours per week) in front of computer, television and game screens than they spend on any other activity in their lives except sleeping, according to a 2005 report by the Kaiser Family Foundation. The lack of physical activity that comes with all of these stationary hours in front of the screen, claims the NIMF, is a large contributor to the obesity problem.
Time to disconnect the source
No doubt about it, parents need to be involved. If you’ve decided it’s time to put on the brakes with your young gamer, Jones emphasizes, be sure your partner is on the same wavelength with you — if not philosophically, at least logistically. “Agree what games can be played and for how long,” he stresses. “Consider what other activities and responsibilities the child will participate in. Present the plan [to the child] as a parental team.” But what do you do when your spouse just doesn’t see the potential danger? Or, worse yet, when you’re divorced and your ex doesn’t impose the same restrictions you do?
“If it’s a serious problem, then the parent [that enforces limitations] needs to educate her child as to why she’s concerned [with violent games and overuse] and what the research shows. You don’t want your child to think that you’re doing it to be mean, but that you have actual reasons,” says Elliott.
Also, parents need to be honest with themselves: Keep a log of the child’s online/gaming activity if necessary. The NIMF reports an alarming gap between what kids say about the role of video games in their lives and what parents are willing to admit. While nearly two-thirds of surveyed parents said they had rules about how much time their children may spend playing video games, only one-third of their children said they had such rules.
At the same time, it’s not practical to ban gaming, suggest researchers at Common Sense Media, as well as local experts. Internet and console games have become entertainment facts of life for kids. They’re also learning tools. But parents do need to monitor what types of games kids play and how long they play them.
Jones recommends that children not spend any longer than one to two hours daily playing video games or watching television — and even less on school days. “If their [screen] time exceeds their time playing outside, then you have a problem,” he advises. Take time to balance the loss of gaming time with other activities that fill the void of what kids are finding online: connection to other people, freedom and achievement.
“The word ‘No!’ conjures up negative feelings in most people, not just children,” Jones cautions parents. “It’s worse when what we desire is just denied outright and alternatives are not offered. Parents need to remember that gaming is fun or their children would not be into it.”
Try alternatives such as sports, checkers, chess, dance, swimming, science experiments, crafts and cooking. Most importantly, be a good role model. “If you’re giving your gaming speech while you’re eating dinner with the TV flipper in your hand, or if you’re more committed to checking your e-mail than to shooting baskets with your kids, don’t expect them to take you too seriously.”
And to fight the sedentary effects of gaming, Jones suggests substituting carrots, celery sticks and raisins for the usual pizza, fried food and soda that kids love to nosh while getting their game on.
If you suspect your child has crossed the line from enthusiast to addict, and he demonstrates antisocial behavior or experiences depression and low school performance, experts suggest you seek professional counseling to examine the underlying issues contributing to your child’s need for escape. Many treatment resources are available, including traditional “detox” programs. More resources and information are available online at sites such as www.computeraddiction.com and www.netaddiction.com.
*Patient quoted in Addiction to MMORPGs: Symptoms and Treatment by Dr. Kimberly Young, the executive director of the Center for Internet Addiction Recovery (www.netaddiction.com)
