“Can I play my Switch?” “Can I have the iPad?” It’s a common refrain in my house. Any time we have downtime, my 7-year-old’s first instinct is to grab some sort of screen. And now that summer is here, we’ve got a lot more downtime. Cue the battles.
I’m not alone in this summer conundrum. According to the Digital Wellness Lab, the majority of children spend more time using a screen over these months, as the structure and routine of the school year goes by the wayside. But all year long kids are spending more and more time watching screens. On average, American children between 8 and 12 spend a whopping 4–6 hours a day watching or using screens, says the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.
There are many reasons for the increase in use, explains Dr. Adrienne Anderson, a pediatric psychologist at Children’s Health in Dallas—from online learning to entertainment to simply allowing parents a break. “Whatever the reason, research has shown negative impacts of increased screentime,” she says, noting that overuse of screens can heighten kids’ risk for obesity, depression, anxiety, behavior problems and sleep issues, among other concerns.
On the other hand, less screen time leaves room for engaging with friends and family, opportunities for new hobbies and physical activities and more time for open-ended play—all things we know to benefit our kids’ bodily and mental health.
But let’s be realistic—these devices aren’t going anywhere. So how can we set realistic boundaries that our kids will understand and respect? Read on for Anderson’s expert tips.
DFWChild: What are some examples of rules around screen time that parents can implement that are helpful but not extreme?
Dr. Adrienne Anderson: Start with small incremental changes. Lessen the TV or other electronics playing the background. Then, join your child when they are watching a show or using a screen so you can understand the content. You can also utilize apps or parental controls that allow increased monitoring and powering down of electronics when screen time is finished.
RELATED: 7 Apps That Help Control Screen Time
Next, establish screen-free places in the home. For example, when eating dinner at the table, we will not be on phones, watch TV, or have availability to iPads. Try not allowing screen time in the child’s bedroom. But if you want to establish this, make sure this is realistic for your family.
Lastly, put the screens away and, if possible, limit their access when they are not allowed to be used. For example, parents should store them away when the child is not able to use the electronic.
DFWChild: How can parents set and communicate device rules and expectations? How should they handle if kids push back on a new rule?
AA: There will most likely be an adjustment period when implementing a new rule in the home. What can be helpful is for parents to expect that there may be some push back and develop a plan for how to manage that.
For example, have a one-line answer for the child already prepared for when the child pushes back. This may be, “I understand this may be hard and we are all adjusting to this new rule/change at home. Why don’t we play a game together.” In this statement you have acknowledged and validated their feelings and provided a positive alternative.
You may also have a place in the home where you write down house rules, and this can be a helpful reminder to all. Or you can have a family meeting where you discuss the changes and allow the child to ask questions beforehand. We want to be thoughtful about this; making sure this is not a session for the child to bargain but to help the child to understand the changes and provide them a safe space to express their emotions about the changes.
DFWChild: What’s the best way to enforce limits? Can we give kids some control?
AA: First, we want to be realistic with limits and expectations. Is this something you can realistically enforce? Does your schedule allow for enough supervision to enforce? Is the change realistic? There may need to be a stepwise approach if the child has not previously had limitations on screens and was watching screens for several hours a day. In that case, it would be unrealistic to immediately go to one hour a day.
So instead, you could start by reducing it by an hour or by half at a time. Explain this to the child and maintain consistent expectations.
In terms of giving the child control, you can allow them to choose when and how they want to use their screen time.
DFWChild: Is it OK to use screen time as a reward, something they earn, or does that send the wrong message?
AA: Screen time as a reward can be a great incentive for children and can also teach them that screen time is not guaranteed/promised but rather something that is a privilege and is earned. This can also be a great reward or motivator if you have children that have home behavior charts as well.
Mom-Tested Screen Limits
The tech-use limits that work for our managing editor, Amanda, a mom of two:
Set a Timer. We purchased a small digital timer (similar to this one) to use for limiting screen use. Here’s the trick that makes my son most amenable to the time limit: We let him set the timer—and turn it off—himself. This gives him a sense of control.
Screen-Free Basket. We’ve selected a few unique toys and activities (some are even educational!) that are in a “special” basket in my son’s room. Items include blocks, a storybook-writing kit, quick and easy science experiments, etc. Before he gets to use a screen, he needs to pick something to do from the basket.
Select Binge Days. Sometimes we bargain. “If you take the next two days off, on Thursday you can play your Switch a little extra,” we’ll tell my son. I usually time these sort of binge days for times when I know we don’t have much to do planned or I need a little extra time.
Image: iStock
