Elise McVeigh writes a monthly manners advice column for DFWChild. If you have any etiquette questions, email them to mrsmcveighsmanners@gmail.com and she might answer them in her next column. Follow her on Instagram and Facebook and visit her website at mrsmcveigh.com.
Dear Mrs. McVeigh,
I am a single mom with a teenage daughter. I told her that we could go on spring break this year to a beach in Mexico and agreed to let her bring a friend. The mom of my daughter’s friend called and thanked me for inviting her daughter and said that my daughter said that she just had to pay for her plane ticket and that we will take care of the rest. The mom said she was grateful and is doing her best to “scrape” together the plane fare and thanked me for my patience on getting it together. I was so stunned that I did not tell the mom otherwise.
I wanted to yell at my daughter for promising that, because I can barely afford the trip for the two of us. The hotel room will not cost me anymore because we already have two double beds, and her friend can bunk with my daughter. But food may get expensive, and I will struggle to cover a third person’s meals. Also, I know that tipping is expected.
My questions to you are, first, how do I handle things with my daughter’s friend’s mom? I am so uncomfortable going back to her and telling her that her daughter has to pay for her own food. What if they cannot afford it? I do not want my daughter to be upset with me if her friend cannot go. Second, can you please let me know what the expectations are in tipping in Mexico? Thank you.
Sincerely,
—Frazzled Spring Break Traveler
Dear Frazzled,
First of all, it is so nice that you are taking your daughter on a spring break trip, especially if money is tight. However, it does not sound like your daughter understands your financial situation. Before you call back the friend’s mother, I would sit down with your daughter and explain your financial situation, and then tell her that there must have been a miscommunication between the two of you about what you are willing to pay for her guest on the trip. Warn your daughter that there is a chance that her friend may not be able to go once you tell the mother that the friend has to pay for her own food and any other miscellaneous expenses.
When calling back the friend’s mother, just be straightforward with her. Tell her that your daughter gave her daughter the wrong information, and you were caught off guard when the mother told you what she had relayed. Then tell her what your financial expectations are for the trip.
Present her with an estimate of the cost of food or any other expenses that the friend may incur. Tell the mother that you understand that money is tight, and you wish you could pay for the whole trip. Then give her a gracious way to decline going at all. Tell her if this is not good timing for her family, maybe the girls could go on another trip together down the road. Even suggest that the girls could try to raise money for a future trip by doing odd jobs or babysitting in the neighborhood. I understand that your daughter may be disappointed if her friend is not able to go this time, but relay what you said to the mother about a future trip.
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As for tipping, the expectations for tipping in Mexico at hotels and restaurants are similar to the U.S., and employees will accept U.S. dollars. For restaurants, I recommend tipping waitstaff 15–20%. Be aware that you may see “IVA” on your final bill. IVA stands for “impuesto al valor agregado.” It is a 16% value added tax. This money goes to the government, not your server, so leave the server an addition 15–20%. The same goes for bartenders serving those of legal drinking age.
At hotels, you can also tip a porter (the person who brings up your bags) $1 per bag. The same if you check your bags outside at the airport. Car valets often receive $3–$5, taxi drivers 15–20%, and $3–$5 each day for housekeeping. A good idea is to go to the bank before your trip and get a stack of $1 and $5 bills.
Sincerely,
—Mrs. McVeigh
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Top image: iStock
