Elise McVeigh writes a monthly manners advice column for DFWChild. If you have any etiquette questions, email them to mrsmcveighsmanners@gmail.com and she might answer them in her next column. Follow her on Instagram and Facebook.
Dear Mrs. McVeigh,
I am trying to instill good manners on my children (and spouse)! We work on saying please and thank you, and I make sure they have a respectful tone, etc. But I feel like I need to do more and immerse my children completely in trying to have good manners. I think being good citizens and polished children (and then adults) is so important, so I am trying to think of what I can do to set them up for success. Do you have any advice on how to make my home more “mannerly?” I mean this from a standpoint of not only activities but logistically. I assume that your house reflects a good manners lifestyle, so do you have any suggestions for me?
Thank you,
—Good Manners Mom
Dear Good Manners Mom,
I love this question! I also write about and teach about getting organized, and it sounds like you are marrying these two topics, so this is something I am excited to talk about!
Get Organized
When I teach children about getting organized, I explain to them that this is part of having good manners. For example, if you have a good morning routine, then you are able to get out the door on-time. Being on-time is a very good example of having good manners. When you have playdates, it is good manners to invite people into a nice and neat space. I tell children that if their room is a mess, it is showing disrespect to your guest.
Keep It Tidy
First, ask your children to be in charge of keeping their room clean, and any play space such as a play room. This includes making their bed as soon as they wake up; hanging up their towel in the bathroom; and overall putting things back as soon as they use it. I suggest you label where everything goes in your child’s room and playroom with words or pictures. If everything has a place, and your child is clear on where that place is, then it will be easier for them to keep it neat and tidy. And encouraging them to keep your house clean will make them realize how important it is to clean up after themselves at other people’s houses.
Write Thank-Yous
Next, always have stationery sets and stamps stocked in your home office. Children get very excited seeing their name or monogram on stationery, so this should help motivate them to write thank-you notes. If you have the supplies that you need, then there is no excuse for not getting your hand-written thank you notes out for birthday and other holiday gifts. If you need help on writing a good thank-you note, here is a link to my video for kids on how to properly write one.
Set the Table
Ask your children to set the table every time you eat a meal at home. Knowing how to properly set a table will also help your children with correct utensil use. Keep the placemats, silverware, napkins, and cups in a place that they can reach them easily. If they are young, you can ask them to set the table with everything but the knifes. If you or your children are unsure how to set a table, here is a video for kids.
Practice Table Talk
Last, establish a table (away from screens) that you are able to gather around to eat meals as a family. Mealtime is a time to help your children with their table manners, as well as learning how to be good conversationalists. These are two very important skills that people should have and practicing them often is important. It also is a lot of fun! My children always complained about sitting in the dining room for dinner, but we could not get them to stop talking once we all got in there.
I hope these suggestions will give your house a sense of peace, balance and good manners.
RELATED: Mrs. McVeigh’s Manners: Terrible Table Manners
Image: iStock
