Elise McVeigh writes a monthly manners advice column for DFWChild. If you have any etiquette questions, email them to mrsmcveighsmanners@gmail.com and she might answer them in her next column. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube.
Dear Mrs. McVeigh,
With school about to start, we have a meet the teacher night. I always tell my children that they need to make a good impression on their teacher that night and on the first day of school. I feel that a first impression could set their relationship for the whole school year. Do you have any tips on how to coach children to do this, please? Thank you.
Sincerely,
—Trying to Be a Helpful Mom
Dear Trying to Be a Helpful Mom,
I agree with you that first (and second) impressions are very important. Teachers are not supposed to like or dislike their students, but it would seem impossible not to have feelings about each student. You obviously want to be well-liked by your teacher, because that can make or break your school year. Here are some ways to make a good first—and lasting—impression when meeting the teacher.
Dress Sharp
A good start is with your student’s outward appearance. Dressing well for at least the first week of school is important. I always had my sons wear collared shirts and khaki shorts. As they got into junior high, they fought with me about dressing that way every day, so I changed the rule to at least the first few days of school. I always had teachers tell me that they appreciated how my sons were dressed.
Good Hygiene
Make sure your student also has brushed teeth, a clean face, a clean and pressed outfit, and brushed hair. I see a lot of kids in all grades who look like they just rolled out of bed. You do not want that to be the impression your teacher has of your child.
A Polite Greeting
Next, practice meeting and greeting the teacher. The three key points when practicing this includes standing up straight using good eye contact, a firm handshake with your right hand, and a clear and loud enough voice giving your first and last name. Practice introducing themselves to their teacher until your child feels and sounds confident.
Kindness is Key
On their first day of school, remind your student to be kind to all of the other students. Nothing impresses a teacher more than being kind. This can mean sitting next to a child who is sitting alone, to including everyone when they play at recess. Also go over things that are nice and not nice to say.
A sweet girl in my son’s kindergarten class told him he was the shortest kid in the class. I do not think she meant it in a mean way at all. It was just a fact. But it hurt his feelings. A discussion with your child such as pointing out other children’s differences can be hurtful to them, is a way to make sure they are sounding kind.
Offer Your Help
Being helpful to a teacher is always a way to make a good impression. Tell your child that if the teacher asks for a helper, to raise their hand, and go out of their way to help anyone who needs it. I had a son who was always asked to drop off and pick up a child with special needs in his classroom. He was a good friend to this child, and the teacher felt that he was responsible enough to help her with this.
Steer Clear of Trouble
Last, encourage your child to stay away from bad influences. Getting in trouble the first day or week of school will set a bad tone for the year. Give your child some practice scenarios before school starts of how to navigate tricky situations. For example, if your child has a friend in his class who gets into trouble a lot, gently suggest that they sit with someone new, so they can expand their circle of friends.
I hope you are able to implement some of these meet the teacher suggestions. From an outward appearance and a good handshake to good behavior in the classroom, your child should make a great first impression and set the stage for a successful school year.
—Mrs. McVeigh
RELATED: Mrs. McVeigh’s Manners: Managing Expectations in Youth Sports
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