Jenny Anchondo is still settling into life as a mom of two. The birth of her second daughter, Gemma, earlier this year wasn’t just the start of a new chapter, it marked the end of a painful period of loss and loneliness as she waded through infertility.
“I think I’m still coming out of it,” Anchondo says of the time and tears it took to complete her family. “I am a completely different person. I aged decades over the course of this fertility journey.”
And Anchondo, host of CW33’s Inside DFW and the podcast, No Gifts (Please), is an open book when it comes to that journey. It’s her duty, she says, to be honest and real. “What’s the point of being a known person if I’m only going to share something like my baby must-haves? she says. “I want to get to the meat of life.” Here, she sits down with us to do just that.
Interview with Jenny Anchondo
DFWChild: How is the transition going from one kid to two?
Jenny Anchondo: Everybody always says two is so much harder than one but I don’t think I prepared for that because we struggled for so long to have our second. I’ll be honest, it’s difficult. Whenever I hear of other families where there are two working parents, I’m constantly asking them, how do you do it, who makes dinner, how do you grocery shop? Because each week something big falls through the cracks.
I feel like, yes, I’m nailing it, I’ve got a nutritious dinner on the table 6 o’clock every night, but then I’ll completely forget about a parent thing I’m supposed to go to for school. Or I’m at all the school stuff, and then all of a sudden, we’re supposed to be starting first foods and our baby’s older than 6 months and hasn’t even tried anything. I’m still figuring it out.
DFWChild: Did you always want to be a mom?
JA: Actually, I really didn’t. I didn’t not want to be a mom, but I wasn’t somebody who played with babies and was this nurturer who everybody said, ‘Oh, Jenny, when are you going to be a mom?’ And I was a little embarrassed about that as a young woman, that I didn’t have this innate maternal instinct, mostly because I was very career focused. I was moving around a lot for my career, and I didn’t think that was good for a child, to be upended and moving all the time. I hadn’t met somebody I was interested in spending that rest of my life with. All of that happened a little bit later for me.
But once we had Brighton everything changed. I am in love with this role, I am in love with this title.
“[Seeing Brighton as a big sister] is the biggest joy of my life. It’s the best thing that has happened to me to see that relationship. She’s obsessed.”
DFWChild: You had an easy time getting pregnant with Brighton. But then when you decided to try for a second, things were much different?
JA: I look back and cringe about how we were like, ‘Yeah, we just got married and had a baby, no big deal!’ Now I realize how hurtful that can be, but ignorance is bliss. I just thought if you were healthy, you could have a baby. I didn’t realize it was a process you could age out of. So when Brighton was about 2 ½ we said, ‘OK, let’s do it again!’ And I got pregnant, and I lost that baby at three/four months. And then I got pregnant again, and lost that baby at three months as well.
Then we were starting IVF, and I got pregnant again. It wasn’t an IVF baby, I just naturally got pregnant, so of course I thought, ‘Wow this is really meant to be’—we were starting IVF and we just naturally got pregnant on our own. And then I lost that baby too.
RELATED: The Emotional Toll of Secondary Infertility
DFWChild: What were those years like for you?
JA: It was very lonely because it’s not something that people talk about much. And also, I was working in a profession that’s not extremely family-friendly. To go back to work after having a miscarriage, especially when you’re getting past that third month, it’s like a birth. It’s a very deep process that changed me completely. Lonely, isolating, tough on a marriage, tough on relationships. You’re in a phase where you’re like, can I relate to other people? Is everyone living this great life and I’m here? Which of course isn’t the case, everyone has something, but it still felt so isolating.
DFWChild: Then you started IVF?
JA: I actually started the first full IVF round on my 40th birthday. I was on a girl’s trip, and I remember thinking again, ‘Wow, this is meant to be.’ We pulled in all our resources to pay for it, did all the hormones, all the appointments, all the shots. Then we did the retrieval—they had gotten 14 eggs and many of them fertilized. And I’ll never forget getting the call that none of them were viable.
DFWChild: That must have been devastating. What kept you going?
JA: It was a complete gut punch. You’re like, how am I going to put one foot in front of the other? I think if I hadn’t already been a parent and known the gift of parenthood, I don’t know if I would have been able to keep going.
My husband and I went back and forth. We were like, do we do this again? Is it financially feasible to do this again? Does it make sense at my age? But ultimately, I was like we are going to do this again.
I interviewed every clinic in all of Dallas and then a few out of state. I just went kind of nuts on it, I made it my complete mission. My every waking moment outside of family and work was spent on researching. So we did the whole thing again—the medication, the priming, the shots, the treatment, the making of the embryos. We made three embryos, and one was genetically normal. And that was Gemma.
DFWChild: After going through so much, having Gemma must have been a completely different experience than your first?
JA: Totally. I still look over her crib and put my hand in front of her face to see if she’s breathing. I don’t think that’s uncommon, but I didn’t do that with Brighton. I just had this buoyant view of it, but now I’m forever changed.
DFWChild: What’s it like to see Brighton as a big sister?
JA: It is the biggest joy of my life. It’s the best thing that has happened to me to see that relationship. She’s obsessed; she’s always been very maternal with her babydolls, she loves on them, speaks to them, and she does the same thing for Gemma.
She will also school me. ‘Mom, I don’t think you put her diaper on right,’ or ‘Mom, I think she needs you to pick her up.’ She is truly Gemma’s advocate. She doesn’t want Gemma to have to eat any vegetables, she doesn’t want her to have to go to bed on time (laughs). The two of them are going to be so tight.
DFWChild: What’s been most unexpected when it comes to motherhood?
JA: My total, untethered obsession with my family. It is truly shocking to me. I miss them so much every day, deeply. I have always considered myself a career woman, a mover and a shaker. And I wouldn’t say motherhood has tempered my goals, but it’s softened the edges of them a little bit.
And my willingness to give up so many things to just lay on the ground with a baby spitting up on me or a toddler braiding my hair and putting makeup on me. Just feeling so fulfilled by that.
Jenny Anchondo’s Must-Haves and Do’s as a Mom of Two
1. Smart Bassinet
No doubt you’ve heard the SNOO, a smart bassinet that responds to baby’s cries with white noise and motion. It has a cult-like following and hefty price tag. But is it really worth the hype? Anchondo says yes. “I think it saved our marriage,” she laughs.
And Anchondo notes that you don’t have to break the bank to buy one. She suggests renting one to make sure it’s right for your little one, and then shop for a used one (or certified pre-loved) if it’s tough on your wallet.
2. Talking Parenting on her Podcast
Anchondo hosts a parenting podcast called No Gifts (Please) with her friend and fellow Emmy Award winning TV journalist Steve Noviello. Their unscripted look at life with kids is often inspired by what’s happening in real life.
“It’s kind of selfish,” she jokes. “We interview these experts about all the things that are going on with our kids. When we were trying to come up with a good sleep schedule for Gemma I was like, ‘We need to interview a sleep specialist!’ And there I was taking notes.” New episodes launch on Tuesdays.
3. Pumping on the Go
When she’s out on shoot or interviewing a guest, Anchondo swears by the MomMed Wearable Breast Pump. “If I could shout it from the rooftops I would. You just pop it on, and one charge lasts the whole day. I would not have made it pumping this long without it.”
4. Mommy & Me Time
For some special Brighton-Mommy time, the pair loves a date at the American Girl Doll Café, where the food and coffee options appeal to a grown-up palate. Anchondo recommends the caprese salad.
5. Dance Class with Baby
Anchondo gets in a workout with Gemma in tow at Barre&Baby at The Dallas Conservatory. “The mom gets to do a dance class while you baby-wear, then woven throughout they do scarves with the babies, stretches, mobility. It’s really cute!”
RELATED: Meet NBC 5’s Katy Blakey
This article was originally published November 1, 2024.
Top photo courtesy of Lori Sapio Photography
