Chris Falk, a recruiting manager for Careington International, is the proud papa of one (incredibly) wild child, Cooper, 3, and one attention-seeking puppy/pony, Maggie, an 8-month-old mastador. He and his wife, Tessa, a marketing copywriter, live in Little Elm.
12AM Maggie, our 8-month-old horse of a dog (she’s half mastiff, half lab) jumps on my side of the bed, giving me a heart attack, completely failing to disturb my snoring wife.
12:05AM Asleep at the back door, waiting for Maggie’s cue that she’s “done” (someone wake me when both puppy and toddler are completely potty trained!).
12:08AM Back in bed ….
2:35AM Heart attack No. 2. Awake to find my 3-year-old son, Cooper, staring at me and muttering, “Me apple joose.” Translation: The man wants juice, but settles for water.
2:40AM It’s now a full bed: wife, son, horse, me (but just barely—Maggie’s doing her best to push me out of bed).
4:45AM Maggie wakes me up (again). Only dogs and my grandparents eat breakfast this early.
4:52AM Back in bed ….
6:55AM Awakened by Tessa yelling, “Wakey, wakey eggs and bacy!” But there are no eggs, no bacon. Such a tease.
7AM Kiss Coop and Tess before they head out for the day. “Uhv eew, Daddy!”
7:01-7:20AM Shave, shower, etc., etc., etc.
7:40AM Stuck in traffic. Go. Stop. Go. Stop. Go.
8:32AM LATE.
8:33AM Still thinking about eggs and bacon (note to self: Talk to wife about the early morning taunting; it’s just wrong). Settle for a cup of coffee and cheese Danish, compliments of my girlfriend (I’m having an affair with the vending machine).
9AM-12PM Did I just do some work? Everything is a complete blur, I’m sure it has nothing to do with last night’s romper room.
12:15PM Lunch with the bosses.
1:30PM Back to work, back to meetings.
4:15PM Tessa calls, “Oh, honey!” She wants something; she’s got that tone. She reminds me I’m on Coop detail this afternoon—she has couch-to-5K training and is then hitting the store for canned goods (she’s scary competitive in her office’s food-drive challenge).
5:30PM Walk into day care, or as I like to call it, a nice tax deduction. Coop greets me with a huge cracker-covered hug.
5:35-6:15PM STUCK. IN. TRAFFIC. At least Coop and I have Old McDonald’s Farm to listen to … on repeat.
6:20PM Cooper and I head outside to feed Maggie and find a giant mud cone where a dog should’ve been. She was “fixed” a few days earlier and wears the funky white cone/collar thing around her neck when we’re not there—gotta’ protect the stitches. Guess she’s feeling better … she’s eaten a healthy chunk out of the yard and it shows. Mud is clogging her nose, hanging from her mouth, her cone is filled … nice.
6:25PM Hose down the horse and dress her in one of Tessa’s old T-shirts to cover the stitches.
6:26PM Inside, I give Maggie a hug and mention that her breath reeks and that she should really think about brushing her teeth.
6:27PM Coop runs in with his Tigger toothbrush and paste, “Maggie brush teeth.” Grab the brush just before it lands in her mouth, but thank Coop for being so willing to share (he’s usually not a fan).
6:28PM Time to start dinner. Cooper helps wash the green beans … one lonely bean at a time. It’s a long process, but I can’t rush him, he’s determined, “No, Daddy, I do it!”
6:38PM “I deed it!” Coop’s very clean beans are in the pan, salmon is sizzling, potatoes are in the oven.
7PM Tessa’s home from buying out every grocery store in the Collin/Denton County area (there are more than 300 cans in the back of her car!). We finally sit down for dinner … still no eggs or bacon. Coop is wearing his Black and Decker construction hat and every once in awhile, he tips it and says, “Eeee-haw, cowboy!”
7:30PM Tessa and I split up cleaning duty; she takes the kid, I take the kitchen.
7:31PM “Chriiiiiiiiis!” I run into the bathroom, half expecting a crime scene from the way Tess was screaming. What I find certainly is a scene; it’s a total crime that at 3 years old, Coop can still leave such unexpected surprises in the pull-up that it warrants two parents—all hands on deck.
7:35PM I can hear Tess and Cooper practicing ABCs and reading Where Did Daddy’s Hair Go? Cooper is much more attentive when floating (splashing?) in bubbles.
8PM Coop and I curl up in bed for a quick episode of The Backyardigans before bedtime.
8:30PM I kiss Coop good night and try to stop his tears. He cries every night; he hates going to bed (breaks my heart). Tessa tucks him in, lies down next to his bed and says prayers, holding his hand and waiting for the sobs to fade.
8:35PM Ironing my clothes. I forgot it’s business professional tomorrow and I didn’t take my clothes to the cleaners … hate that.
9PM Catch up on TiVo.
10PM Head to bed only to find it full … at some point, Tessa, Cooper and Maggie all crawled in, spread out and crashed.
10:01PM Carry Coop back to his bed. Take Maggie to hers. Reclaim mine.
10:15PM Fall asleep dreaming of eggs and bacon.
