Iconic images of motherhood are everywhere you turn, both the present (Angelina Jolie) and the past (Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis). And most of us, truth be told, secretly tuck away little “mom” moments and noteworthy nuggets shared by these women in the sincere hope of perfecting our own parenting techniques. After all, we are connected because we are moms, because we have chosen to live our lives fully for someone else.
But have you ever stopped to think about how the everyday mom lives her life: the athlete’s wife, the news anchor, the police officer, the judge, the philanthropist? What are the stories that are hidden behind the badge, the gavel, the glitz and glamour? Behind the nose-for-news persona or the unwavering faith in the greater good?
There is something to be learned from the moms we see in the grocery store, at our children’s preschool and at the neighborhood park. And in honor and celebration of the toughest job we’ll ever have, DallasChild has hand-selected five fabulous moms who we admire, not just for who they are and what they do, but because of their inspirational devotion to their families.
Someone once said, “In raising my children, I have lost my mind, but found my soul.” Here’s to the beautiful spirit of motherhood; may it continue to strengthen and enrich us all.
“The Celebrity”
Pat Smith, TV correspondent, author and wife of former Dallas Cowboys all-time leading rusher and Dancing with the Stars winner, Emmitt Smith
It’s another busy day for Pat Smith, but not for the reasons one might assume. OK, so she’s married to one of the most well-known (and much-loved) Dallas Cowboys of all time, whose celebrity status rocketed off the charts when he traded in his football pads for shiny shoes on last year’s Dancing with the Stars (for which he was crowned the victor). But Smith has other, more pressing issues to contend with: raising their four children.
Dressed in her self-determined requisite wear of capri workout pants, a Nike tee and tennis shoes, Smith’s daily grind is filled with carpools, soccer practice, dance lessons, dinner and homework.
But just because the bulk of her days are spent carting around her kids (Jasmin, 11; Rheagen, 8; EJ (Emmitt IV), 4; and Skylar, 3) and running her household, that doesn’t mean that some of the “celebrity” life doesn’t slip in.
“[The kids] live very normal lives, but at the same time they recognize that their dad is a celebrity who is known in the public eye,” she shares. “Many people have told me that my kids don’t really seem to be affected by it. I thank God for that because we never try to downplay it, but we try to live as normal lives as possible and, of course, we celebrate the great times.”
But the great times do come with a price — extended stays away for Dad. So how does Smith handle being a “single mom” of sorts while her husband is away?
“You do what you gotta’ do,” she reveals. “I’ll never be able to be both Mom and Dad. I just try to be the best mom I can be and cover the bases there. Thankfully we have a lot of support from friends and family and wonderful nannies that kind of help me in juggling the schedule.”
Having a strong support system in place is a tremendous help, as Smith also has her fair share of jet-setting opportunities. During the filming of Stars, she flew out each Tuesday morning for 11 weeks to see the tapings, and she returned home on Thursdays in time to pick the kids up from school. Since the show has wrapped, she has been doing periodic correspondence work for NBC’s entertainment news show, Extra.
But when she’s not busy being a soccer mom or an entertainment reporter, Smith is hard at work penning her first parenting book about stepfamilies.
“We are a blended family,” Smith says. (She and Emmitt each had daughters from previous relationships.) “It has taken a lot of hard work and time, and if I can save somebody else the headaches, the heartaches and the trouble that I’ve gone through to get to where I am now, I would love to do that.”
Despite her jam-packed schedule and her high-profile life, Smith says when it’s all said and done, the best part of her world is being a mom.
“You pour a lot into your kids, and that’s what we’re supposed to do,” she muses. “But there’s just something about when they look at you in a special way or they only want you to put them to bed or tie their shoe or get their juice; there’s something very rewarding knowing that they love you so much and need you so much.”
“The Guardian”
Senior Corporal Jennifer Castleberg with the Dallas Police Department
On the streets catching the bad guy (and the occasional speeder) and in the classroom leading Crime Watch meetings, Senior Corporal Jennifer Castleberg is one tough lady — but her children (Joseph, 10, and Annie, 5) don’t always see her that way.
“My son hears a lot and sees a lot. He’s nervous about [my job], but he doesn’t say much. He just gets this look when he hears about a police officer being hurt,” shares Castleberg, who admits that she does sugarcoat the truth to keep his fears at bay.
“I tell him that Mommy’s very careful, and I take every precaution at work,” she says. And even though she patrols busy southwest Dallas, “I tell him it’s really quiet and that I don’t see too many dangerous things.”
Castleberg recently received a promotion, which now allows her to have most nights and weekends free (meaning more quality time with her children) — a feat almost unheard of for police officers. In fact, her husband, Tony, is also on the Dallas Police force and has a typically chaotic schedule. But, should she get caught up in a call or an arrest, Castleberg says she has reinforcements — the grandparents.
“If I don’t leave at 5 p.m. on the dot, I won’t make it to daycare on time, and I’ll have to call one of the grandparents to pick up the kids,” she shares of her mom and in-laws who thankfully live nearby. “I’m usually late. I’ve been late every day this week.”
But Castleberg makes the best of the situation, adding that her role as a police officer has definitely infiltrated her parenting perspective.
“I call myself paranoid in some situations. I think most parents would do the stuff that I do, but I probably go overboard,” she confides. “When my mom wants to take the kids somewhere, I’m like ‘Make sure Annie’s in her car seat and watch them at the park. If you see a man just kind of hanging out [at the park] with no kids, make sure you call the police.’”
Castleberg also admits to keeping tabs on anyone who comes in contact with her kids. “I get really nervous when my son wants to go spend the night with someone. I have to see the house, meet the parents, and not just briefly, go look at the house, know what their address is, get all of their phone numbers,” she explains. “I hate to admit this, but I’ve got things on my personal computer at home, sites where you can look people up: soccer coaches, daycare workers. I double check everything before my kids go anywhere.”
But whether it’s overprotective or just proactive, Castleberg says her approach to parenting, as it is in police work, is to be a source of knowledge and to instill a sense of right and wrong.
“One of the best parts [of being a mom] is teaching [my children] life lessons,” she reveals. “You know you drill it into them, and you think they’re not listening. Then, when they don’t know you’re watching, they do exactly what you told them and you realize that they are listening. They’re learning how to be a good person and a good citizen from you.”
“The Reporter”
Jackie Hyland, WFAA News 8 Daybreak anchor
Your alarm sounds at 6 a.m. and as you stumble out of bed and head toward your children’s rooms, ready to awaken them (the first attempt of many). You flip on the TV to News 8 Daybreak to see what happened while you were sleeping. And there, all bright, shiny and smiling, is Jackie Hyland, a local mom who’s already logged three hours of her day before the coffee’s even brewing.
“I get up about 3 a.m., I do my own hair and make-up before I leave the house,” shares the New York import. She moved to Plano a little over a year and a half ago with her husband, Gabe, a former police officer-turned-stay-at-home dad, and their daughters, Caitlyn, 8, and Lauren, 4.
On air from 5-7 a.m., then out in the field reporting on stories and writing online pieces, Hyland is a wealth of knowledge when it comes to news and parenting topics — her designated beat. But does all of this inside info benefit Hyland as a mom? Absolutely, she says.
“Everything I do, whether it’s anchoring from the news desk or being in the field, it impacts me, it makes me more aware,” Hyland affirms.
The local mom with a rich Irish heritage (she moved to Ireland with her parents when she was 9) says that it’s not just her who’s paying attention to the world around her: it’s moms across the board who are tuning in and taking note.
“Women, moms in particular, are the ones who are watching and paying attention to the news because they want to protect their families,” she shares. “Things are changing all the time, and I think it’s important that we all stay tuned into what’s going on. ‘What do I need to know today that’s going to protect my family, that’s going to get me through this day?’”
While Hyland may be a well-informed mom, she does concede there are a few parenting pitfalls that come with such a nontraditional schedule.
“There are times during the week that I’m tired, and I may not communicate as well as I would if I was on a full night’s sleep. I know it’s not always easy on my girls, and it’s not easy on my husband and it’s certainly not easy on me. I have a very strict schedule, a very strict life,” she confides, adding that the occasional facial helps to rejuvenate her skin, and time with her family revitalizes her spirit.
“My weekends are completely dedicated to my kids and to my husband,” she says. “Since Texas is new to us, we like to go out and explore, and we go to the library every Sunday. I really try to make [the girls] a big deal on the weekends, and hopefully during the weeks they’ll understand that Mommy’s got to work and some days I’m not feeling as great as I’d like to.”
Despite the early hours up and the early hours to bed (it’s lights out for Hyland at 7 p.m.), this mom is making it work (a feat in which she attributes much of the success to her husband). She’s even scoring a few “cool” points along the way.
“Caitlyn is in third grade, and all of her friends are aware that I’m on TV and apparently it’s a big deal,” she shares laughingly. “She came home from school one day and told me, ‘You know, Mommy, I’m cool in school because you’re cool, because you’re on TV.’”
“The Disciplinarian”
Judge Cyndi Wheless, 417th District Court, Collin County
Walk into the 417th District Court any weekday, and you’ll see a kind-hearted blonde with a gavel in her hand ready and waiting to dispense justice — a role Judge Cyndi Wheless has been preparing for her entire life.
“When I was very young, I was settling disputes in the neighborhood and trying to get people to be fair to each other,” she reminisces. “I took up for my kid brother and sister all the time, and I became a real advocate, being the oldest child in my family.”
Being a crusader for the underdog is something that has stayed with Wheless, a Plano mom of two sons, Ryan, 12, and Dylan, 9. And that powerful personality trait, she admits, makes her job difficult at times, especially as a parent.
“My court must give preference to juvenile cases — both the criminal juvenile delinquency cases and the CPS (Child Protective Services) cases,” she says. “When a 2-year-old takes a beating … I just go ahead and cry and work my way through it instead of trying to bottle it up. I just release the emotions.”
But Wheless’ empathy isn’t simply the result of her childhood proclivities; she believes she has greater compassion in the courtroom because of her role as Mom.
“You think you have compassion and empathy, but once you have your children facing different things, [like] bullies at school, then you become so much more aware,” she confides. “You would rather go through that for them, and so I believe I have a greater understanding [of what plays out in my courtroom].”
And while her parenting perspective impacts her profession, her profession, in turn, impacts her parenting.
“I have been so educated as to the effects of the Internet. I see 11 year olds who are performing acts that we did not even know about when we were 11. So the Internet (at home) is very screened,” shares the mom whose husband, Ray, is also a judge. “The other issue is violent video games and bullying. We’ve had at least 12-15 cases where kids have brought a sword to school and threatened the children who were picking on them. I’m very concerned with educating [my children] about bullying and what’s included in that is excluding people from conversations, not saying hello — all of these things filter into my parenting.”
Wheless also reveals that her career has emboldened her to be a more firm parent. “I see the results of people wanting to be their child’s best friend rather than their parent,” she laments. “Firmness does not mean you have to be mean or yell, but you can’t give in on the important things.”
And the most important things to Wheless are her children, a fact made heartwarmingly clear when she chokes back tears while talking about them.
“A person once told me that once you have your kids you’re set and anything over and above that peace and happiness is gravy,” she confides wistfully. “This is the most important job of my life, and I’m very grateful for my children.”
“The Caregiver”
Holly Crandell, support system for best friend, Lynn Newman, who battled breast cancer
Imagine living across the street from your best friend, your families so tightly intertwined you aren’t sure where yours begins and hers ends. Now add breast cancer into this idyllic setting. You go from playdates and parties to holding prayer vigils, cooking dinner, shuttling your friend’s children where they need to go and sitting through her chemo treatments.
You hold her hand and let her cry.
For Frisco resident Holly Crandell (mom of Ashlynn, 10; Jameson, 7; Jackson, 7; and Catherine, 2 1/2), this was her life for nearly four years as she lifted her fallen friend, Lynn Newman (mom of Taylor, 9 and Jacob, 7, and wife of David) from the clenches of a horrible disease.
“Lynn was, simply, my best friend,” Crandell confides. “Helping her with her journey wasn’t a job I applied for, it was merely my privilege and honor to be called her friend. All the ‘stuff’ done for her was out of love for her. There were times I wasn’t strong, neither was she. Some days we talked about everything, other times we cried about everything and vented about how unfair it all was. In the end, we leaned on God and trusted Him to get us through it all.”
Newman, at only 36 years old, ultimately lost her battle with breast cancer on Dec. 29, 2006, but not before her dear friend helped her put up the fight of her life.
“The journey I lived through with Lynn was not a solo journey. My husband, Todd, and family were, and remain, incredibly supportive, pitching in when I needed to be with Lynn or just wanted to be with Lynn,” Crandell shares, adding that a host of other friends provided an amazing support network for Newman.
With an ailing friend and a young family, how does a mom find the strength to balance the two mainstays in her life? Crandell says she somehow just made it work, admitting that she wasn’t always able to keep up a brave face in front of her children.
“Many times I shielded them from [the situation with Newman], but when life would be life and [the kids] would be crazed and I would be crazed, it would finally just bring me to tears,” she reflects. “I would say, ‘I am so sad because I can’t make this better and because Ms. Lynn is hurting.’”
But Crandell says she and her children are all the better for having walked that fateful road.
“Kids learn by example, and I hope the journey and friendship we share with the Newman family will forever be an example of how we all should treat one another — to love each other as we would always desire to be loved — during good times and bad,” she touchingly shares. “I miss my friend every single day. Sometimes I get a chuckle or a laugh and remember something funny or can hear what I think she would say. Other times, the missing her is so great it only brings tears. But I am so thankful and honored God delivered Lynn Suzanne Berg Newman into this world and then beautifully allowed our lives to touch. I fully believe it was a blessing for us all.”
To make a breast cancer donation in Lynn Newman’s honor, visit the Susan G. Komen Web site at www.komennorthtexas.org or www.caringbridge.org/tx/lynnnewman. Last year more than 150 people participated in the Race for the Cure in Plano for Team Lynn Newman, and many are already gearing up for the 60-mile walk in October.
