Texas is one of few states in the U.S. to empower parents with the right to keep their multiples together in school (under HB 314, passed in May 2007). But is it a good idea for multiples to co-exist in the same classroom?
The bottom line: it depends on the kids, says psychologist Susan Fletcher, who often works with moms through the Plano Area Mothers of Multiples group on this topic. “Separation is inevitable, particularly in higher grade levels. It’s more easily accepted by children when it’s introduced gradually over time – the earlier, the better,” says Fletcher.
Prior to starting her own Plano practice, Fletcher aided local school districts in devising behavior management plans and education assessments for school-aged children, including multiples. Fletcher explains that in some cases, particularly if multiples have never previously been separated, the traumatic effects of doing so at the early elementary age outweigh the benefit of each twin’s independence. She counters this by adding, “Exposing multiples to separation prior to kindergarten will help make the transition much easier in the classroom.”
Fletcher advises parents who are looking for ways to start the separation process to utilize a safe environment – like grandma’s house – and let the kids spend time alone with the relative. Additionally, parents should talk with their children’s teachers to vocalize any concerns or questions about how their child is adjusting to separation at school.
She adds, “Parents shouldn’t limit this to the classroom. Multiples will develop healthy individuality by participating in separate sports teams and following their own interests.”
