Our words have such a tremendous impact on our children. Our words are like a magic canvas on which children can paint positive or negative pictures about themselves. Provide your children with guidance rather than criticism. When things go wrong, take advantage of the opportunity to teach your children valuable life skills. Look for solutions, not blame. Use words of encouragement that help children develop self-confidence, self-motivation and self-evaluation:
I can see you really put a lot of effort into that.
Thank you. That really helped.
What do you think would happen if you did that?
Let’s do this together so it won’t take so long.
Talking with children not only involves the exchange of words, it involves exchanging ideas and feelings. You communicate with looks (smiles and scowls), with actions (hugs and slaps), with silence (warm or cold), as well as with powerful words (kind and unkind). It’s not always what you say as much as how you say it. Words, and the feelings behind those words, have the power to build and energize or to frighten and devastate. How do your words impact your children?
Deborah Cashen is a certified family life educator and founder and co-owner of Parenting Partnerships, Inc., parentingpartnerships.com.
