Soon after the birth of your first child, well-meaning friends and family offer a laundry list of do’s and don’ts that involve everything from feeding and sleeping down to doing the laundry itself. But mixed among the chores and warnings, there’s sweet advice for creating joy and peaceful moments: Read to your child.
As simple as it sounds, the benefits and great rewards of reading from birth and through every stage of a child’s development can last a lifetime. Most parents, when they think back on their own childhood, can still rattle off the titles of books that meant something special to them decades ago.
A love of reading opens kids up to new ideas, sets them up for academic success and fosters critical thinking and empathy for others.
Books matter, more than just for happy memories. Children whose parents them five books a day start kindergarten having heard a million more words than those whose parents didn’t read to them. And if five books sounds a little ambitious, consider this: Reading just one picture book a day can expose your child to about 78,000 words a year. And studies show that the number of words a child hears profoundly impacts language development and literacy.
A love of reading opens kids up to new ideas, sets them up for academic success and fosters critical thinking and empathy for others. So, how do you bring up a kid who associates books with fun and adventure? Here’s an age-by-age guide to raising a reader, from babies and toddlers, up to age 12.
The Baby Years
Let’s be real—you might feel a little silly propping up a tiny human so they can see the pages of a book you’ve chosen. But reading is about a lot more than vocabulary words. “It’s that whole social activity of give and take. There’s also the idea that stories come out of these books, so books are interesting,” says Dr. Sheryl Frierson, who’s worked with all levels of readers as the medical director of Luke Waites Center for Dyslexia and Learning Disorders at Scottish Rite for Children in Dallas. She’s also a UT Southwestern associate professor of developmental and behavioral pediatrics. She notes that reading to infants also teaches them how to use a book. “You hold it up so the pictures are right side up, you turn from left to right. You learn a lot about how books are structured.”
Research tells us that children who are exposed to a lot of words at home during their infancy and early childhood are more ready to learn when it comes time to go to school. “Talking with your young child is really important, however, reading typically exposes them to a wider variety of vocabulary words that we don’t typically use in regular conversations,” says Frierson.
Even newborns benefit from the physical connection, the sound of your voice and hearing the rhythm and tempo of the words in a book. Live and in-person language, focused on the child, matter, so phoning in your favorite true crime podcast or eBook won’t work here.
Make eye contact with your baby and respond when they light up and attempt to make sounds mimicking the ones they hear in a book. Get the rest of their senses involved with sensory board books such as the colorful See, Touch, Feel with its raised textures, finger trails and (spoiler alert) mirror at the end of the book.
For most babies, those senses might involve taste, and that’s OK. “Those cloth and board books are durable and nontoxic for them to put in their mouths because that’s how they explore the world,” Frierson says.
And don’t feel like you have to wait years before taking your baby to your local library’s storytime for littles. “We call it toddler storytime, but we want babies there too. It’s building a culture of reading with a positive experience that includes song and play. It’s good exposure to hearing and sharing stories,” says Lisa Zinkie, who spent more than a decade as a school librarian for Fort Worth ISD and is now the manager at the Hampton-Illinois Library, a branch of the Dallas Public Library.
RELATED: Kid-Friendly Reading Spaces in Dallas-Fort Worth
Toddlers: Ages 1–3
At this age, children absorb all that books have to offer, far beyond new words and language. “They’re learning what things mean, they’re learning new categories of things such as animals, and how horses and dogs and cows fit into this category. That’s different than people or trucks. So they’re learning a lot about the structure of the language,” Frierson explains.
As you’re reading to a toddler, avoid shooting for a quick cover-to-cover rush job, even if it’s bedtime and you’re trying not to fall asleep yourself. Think about reading throughout the day, not just when it’s time to get out your beloved childhood copy of Goodnight Moon. Stop to respond to your children’s questions and comments or point out any interesting similarities between the story and your own lives. Talk about not just what you’re reading, but what you’re seeing in the pictures.
Beyond your own childhood favorites, know that your children will establish their own thoughts, preferences and opinions on books. Depending on your toddler’s development, they may be ready to walk around the library and make a few selections of their own. “I would definitely let them pick out some books themselves. I’m a huge proponent of free choice in reading. A lot of times, kids don’t want to read what they don’t pick,” Zinkie says.
That means you may find yourself reading the same book to your child, day after day. “That’s not a problem. Anybody who has children knows that the things they like to do, they like to do over and over again,” says Frierson. “When they enjoy a book, they’ll go back to that same book over and over again. Sometimes kids may even memorize a favorite book. They’re still spending time in a book, in a story, learning vocabulary words, attaching the pictures to the words they’re hearing.” Pay attention to what it is about those particular books that engage your child and seek out other books by that author or ask a librarian for similar recommendations.
One last thing to keep in mind at this age: “When children are choosing books, it’s very important for them to be able to see themselves in them. Having stories about people that look like them helps keep their interest, makes them feel validated as a human and helps them find their place in the world,” Zinkie says. That may mean size, skin color, abilities or religion.
And when children read books that have someone different in it, well, that comes with its own set of benefits. “Reading is a beautiful tool for developing empathy. There’s a saying in library circles that books need to be windows and mirrors,” she says.
Emerging Readers: Ages 4–6
The wonder of reading really comes to life when your child starts to identify letters and even sight words, not only in books but out in the real world. While reading to your child, allow them to read to you too, first by pointing out letters and words you know they’ll recognize. The goal here is to make the experience feel organic and not like a pop quiz. Later, take turns reading full pages at a time.
You can begin to point out letters and words in the same way you were pointing out pictures and the sounds different animals make. “You can say, ‘your name is Ben, that starts with a B. Do you see any Bs on this page?’ That engages them in paying attention to those letters. Even if they’re not ready to read words, they may be able to find the first letter in their own name,” Frierson says.
When your child starts coming home from school with leveled readers and book logs, share a sense of wonder about the topic. A simple, “I didn’t know that about monkeys!” will do, so your child can see that even you learn from books.
Continue reading books they’ll understand but can’t quite read on their own level yet. Beyond the library, take them to local, independent bookstores. Make reading about fun and adventure.
Early Readers: Ages 7–9
At this age, we want to keep those positive vibes flowing but that can be hard to do when your child’s book selections may leave you scratching your head. But consider their preferences from their point of view.
Comics-inspired books and graphic novels talk about things that are age-appropriate for kids. “They’re not things we think about, but they are things children that age are thinking about. So it meets them where their interests are. Anytime they’re practicing getting the meaning of the letters on the page, that’s good reading.” says Frierson.
“Some parents are hesitant. They’re like, ‘These are just comic books,’” says Zinkie, who once did a talk at a state library convention about the benefits of graphic novels and manga, a genre of Japanese comic books and graphic novels. “I let parents know these books almost make the child’s brain work twice as hard because they have to interpret both the words and the pictures.”
Graphic novels can also be a stepping stone for struggling readers. “Helping a kid find that magic book that turns them on to reading, that makes them want to read more, is so huge. If that can be a graphic novel, then why not? I think all reading is valid,” Zinkie says.
At this age, continue to read books to your children above their reading level so that they get to hear fluent reading and learn about new things. If they express a preference for eBooks, don’t be afraid to indulge them.
“Times are changing. Children are in a digital world, and they are going to be reading things on screen,” Frierson says. Think of eBooks as an extension, another way to read. “Sometimes the book is something that you hold and it has pages. But sometimes the book is on your iPad and you turn the pages by swiping, but the same principles apply. You read left to right, you go from top to bottom, you’re going to turn pages.” Frierson notes that in many digital formats there are even pictures to look at and words that link to their definitions.
Many local libraries offer the Libby app for enjoying eBooks, audiobooks, magazines and streaming services, that helps kids follow along. “That can get them going more than just regular books,” Zinkie says.
Middle Grade Students: Ages 9–12
As children get older and their interests expand, the family schedule may get tighter and your children’s curiosity may shift. Help them find books about the activities they’re involved in or new ideas that pique their enthusiasm. “Engage them in the things they’re showing an interest in,” says Frierson.
“The key thing is letting kids choose what they read. That’s super important,” Zinkie says. Keep things positive and never use reading as a punishment.
Make books part of your life in different ways. Play an audiobook in the car on the way to practice or the big game, then talk about what’s going on in the story. “Reading is reading is reading, whether you’re listening to it, whether you’re reading it,” Zinkie says.
By this age, your children may have their own library of sorts filled with treasures collected over the years. Make sure those books are readily available and keep them organized and sorted. Consider purchasing a few books to finish off a prized collection or, just for fun, order a personal library kit that comes complete with card catalog checkout cards, bookplates and a date stamp. When your children reach adulthood, those books and timestamps will take on a whole new meaning.
And at every age, lead by example. When it comes to raising a reader, like all things with parenting, model the behavior you want to see. “Your kids should see you reading for enjoyment as well,” says Frierson says. “When they see that you do that, they will copy you.”
Further Reading
Want to learn more about raising a reader? Check out these books with practical advice for parents and fun activities to do together.
Reading Magic: Why Reading Aloud to Our Children Will Change Their Lives Forever, by Mem Fox
The Read-Aloud Handbook, by Jim Trelease
The Read-Aloud Family: Making Meaningful and Lasting Connections with Your Kids, by Sarah Mackenzie
The Book Whisperer: Awakening the Inner Reader in Every Child, by Donalyn Miller
This article was originally published in December 2023.
Top image: iStock
