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Pin It to Win It

I admit that I’ve quickly become a social media geek. My Twitter following has exploded to more than 240 (OK, exploded might be a bit of an overstatement). I’ve started checking in with the morons on Facebook who tell me how wonderful the sunrise is. And I make sure to look over my daughter’s shoulder whenever she’s on her Instagram account . . . just in case I see something that would cause me to throw her smartphone into the nearest garbage disposal.

But until recently, I just didn’t get Pinterest. Then again I’m a guy’s guy, a man’s man. I’m not supposed to get Pinterest. I’m supposed to drink cold beer and look at hot cheerleaders and laugh every time the Cowboys make another draft pick. I’m supposed to teach my son that it’s funny to leave the toilet seat down, how to spit (always downwind), how to scratch certain places without anyone noticing in the grocery store and how to order the perfect cheeseburger at Jakes.

As men we’re not expected to care about Pinterest. Yet strangely I’m drawn to it like Kim Kardashian is drawn to rappers. Like Tiger Woods is drawn to fire hydrants. Like my 8-year-old is drawn to the ice cream machine at Jason’s Deli. Like . . . well, you get the picture.

And pictures are what Pinterest is all about. Pictures, pictures and more pictures. There are pictures of actual pictures. Pictures of posters. Pictures of letters. Pictures of famous quotations. Now as you might expect, most of the pictures are geared toward the ladies. A million recipes on how to make brownies (why would there be more than one?). Tons of kids’ crafts and high heels. And more inspirational quotes about mommy-daughter relationships than anyone knew existed.

Just scanning the site will get you up close and personal with your feminine side. A bit too close for comfort? Perhaps. But I’m pretty confident my inner Jack Nicholson will win out, so I’m cool.

After countless hours of research (really 27 minutes, 12 seconds), I did what no other dad had the guts to do: I found dad stuff on Pinterest. This being the Dad Issue, it’s my own little Father’s Day present to all you guys. Quit laughing and don’t judge. Pinterest isn’t all that bad. Here’s what I started pinning this week:

Great Quote #1:“When I hear people talking about the sacrifices they make for their kids, I look at them like they’re crazy, since sacrifice infers that they had something better to do with their time than spend it with their children.” —Chris Rock

Great Quote #2: “You never know how dirty a song’s lyrics are until you hear your child sing them in the backseat.” —Anonymous

A really awesome photo of a banana split. Yeah, I don’t get why I pinned it either, but that’s the thing about Pinterest.

Video of dad dressed as Darth Vader and son dressed as Chewbacca. And it wasn’t even Halloween.

Great Quote #3: “My father used to say don’t raise your voice. Just improve your argument.” —Desmond Tutu

Poster of Steve Garvey, the same poster that was above my bed when I was in junior high school.

Great Quote #4: “I don’t always dislike children, but when I do, it’s usually because their parents are doing a bad job.” —Most Interesting Man in the World, from Dos Equis commercials

The DadVest with built-in diaper bag that comes in several outdoorsy color schemes including camo. Only $79.99!

Great Quote #5: “I’m fairly certain YOLO is carpe diem for stupid people.” —Jack Black

Best Quote #1: “As soon as you finish putting my diaper on . . . I will sh@#!” —random baby picture

Picture of Steve McQueen from The Great Escape.

Recipe for chocolate chip brownies. Hey, I couldn’t resist.

Great Quote #6: “If you can’t explain it simply, you simply don’t understand it.” —Albert Einstein

Classic photo of Michael Jordan from his first dunk title.

Seventeen pictures of “Dream Cars.”

Forty-five pictures of old baseball cards that I no longer can find in my attic.

A really funny Heisman Trophy kids’ costume.

“Pinterest is basically craft porn.” —a T-shirt I’m planning to purchase

Now all you guys can start pinning the night away. Please don’t thank me all at once. Happy Father’s Day!

Rudy lives in Flower Mound, works in Fort Worth and plays everywhere in between. He has one wife, one daughter, one son, one published book, one obsession with sports and 20 million observations on marriage and children. Follow him on Twitter: Manifesto10.