New mom, Katey McFarlan, 25, is the founder and blogger behind Chronicles of Frivolity, a popular (she has 200,000 followers on Instagram) fashion, beauty and lifestyle blog that’s now peppered with motherhood tidbits since the arrival of Maxi six months ago. Balancing motherhood, a thriving business and time with her husband of two years, Paul, can be a challenge, which is why the Fort Worth mom, a self-described Type-A personality prefers peace to perfection these days.
HOW WAS YOUR PREGNANCY?
I embraced my changing body and had so much fun styling my bump for New York Fashion Week. I found it comforting to know Maxi was always with me. However, I threw up every day until I gave birth and one of my ribs became dislocated at 30 weeks. Maxi was so long, and I’m pretty petite so she literally had nowhere to go but into my rib cage.
YIKES! THAT SOUNDS PAINFUL.
It was super painful. But I was told it’s very common in shorter women. I was given a prescription for pain medication, and my doctor just monitored it. Once I gave birth, it stopped moving around healed on its own.
DESCRIBE SEEING MAXI FOR THE FIRST TIME.
It was peaceful. Since I was a little girl, I’ve wanted to be a mom. When they handed her to me, I had this feeling of contentment and joy come over me.
WHAT’S THE MOST SURPRISING THING TO YOU ABOUT MOTHERHOOD?
I’m amazed at how much you change for this one little person. Before becoming a mom, I’d love to say that I had been completely selfless for Paul, my sister and my parents, but it wasn’t until I had Maxi that I was truly selfless. It’s such an intense and immediate love.
HOW HAS PARENTHOOD CHANGED YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH PAUL?
We are definitely more intentional with our time. Since we have less free time, we appreciate it so much more. One example is that we made a commitment to ourselves to have regular date nights. Both of our parents live here, so we lucked out in the babysitting department.
HOW ARE YOU WORKING
TO MAINTAIN A WORK-LIFE BALANCE?
I get up each day at 5 in order to get a jump start on work before Maxi wakes up. Working from home is a major balancing act. I’ve also accepted the fact that I can’t do it all.
I took Maxi to a work conference with me when she was 2 months old. I was stressing myself out, running back to the hotel room to pump every other hour. I ended up getting a stomach virus and mastitis because I was just burning myself out trying to do it all. It was at that point that I realized it was OK for me not to do every diaper change and to let Paul do some things with her on his own.
BEST PIECE OF ADVICE YOU’VE BEEN GIVEN.
Whenever I get sad and think about how quickly Maxi is growing, my mother always reminds me to enjoy every phase. With each new stage of life, children return the love they were given even more than the last.
YOUR BEST ADVICE TO OTHER NEW MOMS?
Go with your gut and don’t compare yourself to anyone else. My biggest mistake was comparing my pregnancy to other people’s. I researched online, looked at Pinterest and read countless lists like “Things to do before you have a baby.” The mama guilt was overwhelming and Maxi wasn’t even here yet.
WITH ALL OF THE DEMANDS OF BEING A NEW, WORKING MOM, HOW DO YOU STEAL AWAY TIME FOR YOURSELF?
I still get manicures! I can skip a shower and be exhausted, but if my nails are done I still feel like Katey.