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Mom-To-Be: Sarah Stockton

Sarah Stockton, 40, director of internal communications at Research Now, a global market research firm in Plano, always knew she wanted to be a mom. She told herself that by 38 she wanted to have a baby, but when 38 came with no husband, she decided to get pregnant on her own. The long, emotional road took five rounds of intrauterine insemination (IUI), two rounds of in vitro fertilization (IVF) and two miscarriages. But it was all worth it. Baby girl Georgia Cole is due in January.

WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO DO THIS ALONE? Several years ago, I decided that 38 was my cut-off age for having a baby, whether I was married or not. One day, I realized I was literally running out of time. Recognizing that the risks for pregnant women only increase as women get older, I decided to go for it. While not the ideal situation, becoming a mom was so important to me that I decided it would all be worth it.

And I don’t feel alone. My mom moved into my house to take care of Georgia when I
go back to work, and my two oldest friends have agreed to be Georgia’s godparents. We’re totally adhering to the it-takes-a-village approach.

HOW DID YOUR FRIENDSAND FAMILY REACT TO YOUR DECISION? My family and close friends knew this had been
my plan for a while so once I decided to take the first step, they were completely supportive. They’ve been there for me through the two miscarriages. I couldn’t have gotten through this without them.

WERE YOU WORRIED ABOUT HOW OTHERS WOULD REACT? A little, but I feel like being a single mom by choice is becoming more and more acceptable.

WHO DO YOU PLAN TO HAVE IN THE DELIVERY ROOMWITH YOU? Probably just my mom. My brother, who lives in Austin, is flying in for the week and is totally prepared to take an uncle-father role, but he’ll probably just be in the waiting room. And my two best friends, Georgia’s godmothers, will be in the waiting room as well.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO OTHERS GOING THROUGH FERTILITY TREATMENTS? Be patient. I got pregnant with the fifth IUI treatment and then miscarried at seven weeks. My second miscarriage happened after the first round of IVF, and again, just before eight weeks, I miscarried. But I decided to try one more time, and it worked! Having a support system is also important, especially if you’re doing this alone.

WHAT WOULD YOU TELL OTHER SINGLE WOMEN OUT THERE CONSIDERING DOING THE SAME? Try not to get discouraged! I was rejected by one doctor who would not perform IVF on a single woman. At the direction of one of my doctors, I had to be evaluated by a psychologist to make sure I wasn’t crazy. Be persistent and keep going.

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF DURING YOUR PREGNANCY? 
I have always worked out and have continued that during my pregnancy. I take a lot of vitamins and have adopted a gluten-free diet. I’m also trying to get plenty of sleep since I know I won’t when the baby comes.

HOW DO YOU THINK HAVING A BABY WILL AFFECT YOUR FUTURE DATING LIFE? I haven’t given up on the idea of meeting someone and getting married someday. I feel like having a baby could open up a new pool of men I haven’t met yet—single dads at school, maybe the soccer coach. Right now, she is my priority, but who knows where we’ll be in five or 10 years.