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Kids Secretly Wish for Moms to Chill Out

Busy parents agonize over finding more time to spend with the kids – but is this feeling reciprocated by the kids? Not so much. Only 10 percent of children in the third through twelfth grades wished for more time with mom and about 15.5 percent with dad, according to an article published recently in The American Psychoanalyst journal.

So what do kids actually want? Most children wish that their mothers (34 percent) and their fathers (27.5 percent) would be less stressed and tired, according to study author Ellen Galinsky, president of the Families and Work Institute. Only two percent of the pooped parents guessed their children would feel that way.

Parents shouldn’t despair that these results point to apathetic children who couldn’t care less about time spent with the folks. Galinsky clarifies that kids are in fact focused on quality more than quantity.

“We tend to think in ‘either/or’ terms: It’s quality or quantity time,” she observes. “It’s work or family. Even the word ‘balance’ that is commonly used indicates an either/or mentality. If you give to one side of your life (work or family), then you are taking away from the other. The research does not support these views.”

It doesn’t seem to matter to kids whether or not parents work or stay at home full time. Galinsky notes no differences between parenting assessments given by children with employed mothers (full or part-time) and mothers at home.