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Nasiba Adilova, The Tot co-founder

Nasiba Adilova Adjusts to a Family of Four

Q&A with the co-founder of The Tot

Nasiba Adilova is a street style star and co-founder of The Tot, an e-commerce site with editorial content. Her Instagram @naseebs now touts over 125,000 followers and her distinctive look has graced the pages of Vogue, Elle, Harper’s Bazaar and other glossies. Together with husband Thomas Hartland-Mackie, the Russian-born Dallasite is raising two sons—Thomas “Thom Thom,” 3, and Daniel, 11 months—and doing it in style.

DFWChild: How do you balance running a business with raising two kids?  
Nasiba Adilova: I go with the flow and so do my children. I’m a fan of listening to a child’s needs versus imposing what you want on them. Luckily, I have the type of support I need to be able to do that. When I travel for work, I bring my littlest one and a family member or nanny to support me while I’m in meetings. My toddler is in school now so he needs more structure at home. On the weekends, we all have a bit more fun.

C: Did you and your husband always want a big family? 
NA: My husband and I are both only children so we wanted a big family. Hopefully, if we’re blessed, we will have one more child.

RELATED: Nasiba Adilova’s Pregnancy Must-Haves

C: How did your firstborn adjust to having a sibling? 
NA: Every child reacts differently, but it’s a huge emotional adjustment. The parallel I’ve been told is to imagine that your partner brought home another woman, and she’s going to live with you now. It’s that hard for children to wrap their minds around a new sibling. Daniel is obsessed with his older brother, but Thom is not that interested in him yet. Once they can play together, I think they’ll both love it.

C: What advice would you give to other expanding families? 
NA: Go for what you want and you will figure out how to do it. The more we think about things, the more afraid we are to do them. When I first gave birth, my lactation consultant wisely told me to trust my instincts. The most important thing that children need is love and attention. There’s not one best way to have a family.

C: As an icon in women’s fashion, how do you feel being in a house full of boys? 
NA: Because I don’t have a girl, I’m always trying to dress them up. My toddler now rebels and wants to dress in all sports outfits. I protest as much as I can! But he’s starting to develop his own fashion sense.

C: Do you hope your unique fashion sense sets an example for your kids to express themselves?  
NA: In how I dress and how I live, I don’t like being like everybody else. I hope that the way I present myself—though some might think it’s wacky—will help my children to think beyond the box that the world tries to put them in. My boys and I spend hours making up stories and games together, and we also host creativity events at The Tot. I want to promote imagination in all children.

C: What advice would you give to working moms? 
NA: I know a mother of two who has been a CEO for over 25 years in a very male-dominated marketplace. She attributes her great relationship with her children to being fully present. When she is home and with family, there is no work. When she’s at work, she’s focused on the job. A lot of us moms feel so torn or judge ourselves when we go back to work, but it’s important to stick with your decision—no mom guilt allowed!

This article was originally published in April 2018.

Photography by Carter Rose