With a glossed-over expression, the zombies stared into the bright oblivion. The only sounds were mild grunting as they bumped into walls without diverting their gaze.
Was this some dystopian near future? Nah. It was the waiting room for an appointment I had a few weeks ago where adults and children alike focused all their respective energy on the phone that glowed before them. And yes, not one, but two individuals walked into walls, barely ever breaking their gaze in the process. And they sure as heck never dropped their phones.
These pocket-sized behemoths of technology do a lot for us, and my kids have taken notice of how useful/fun/limitless they seem. My 11-year-old is also acutely aware that 12 was set as the minimum age before receiving one. Although I have some months before that happens, there is one project that needs to be corrected. Me. I need to lead by example for my kids. It’s called scaffolding. (Side note: I know this because I searched on my phone.)
“I have built a nice little home in my survival game. I call it Joshopia.”
I have become too dependent on this little electronic box. But, oh, it is so freakin’ convenient and multi-faceted. In a given day, my cell is my:
• Alarm clock
• Jukebox
• Writing journal
• Photo album
• Streaming platform
• Watch (even when I am wearing one already)
• News hub
• Research library
• DIY video reference center
• Shopping center
• Teacher of a foreign language I am learning
• Gaming station (I have built a nice little home in my survival game. I call it Joshopia.)
RELATED: Apps That Help Control Screen Time
Oh, and hot tip for you, I can also call people with it sometimes. To be fair, screens are very important to writers like me. I mean, I wrote this column on one. That said, a line must be drawn in the sand, and that starts with trying to understand how much phone time is too much.
Figuring out the right amount of screen time is tricky for me, and especially for my kids. According to the experts (I looked up on my phone) there is something to tailoring those habits to your individual kiddos. Some learn best with a tool like this when it comes to improving motor skills. Some kids have a hard time focusing on learning, but a phone pointed at the right learning video series can make all the difference.
Regardless of what we think is the right amount of time, kids will parrot back what we do as parents. That means taking a deep breath and following these three hard and fast rules I am suggesting we informally agree to (FYI, I am not an expert; I don’t need a phone to tell me that).
1. Don’t screentime-shame others. You don’t know what is working best for those you don’t know.
2. If you feel a dependency, find a non-phone hobby to lean on. Learn to cook that jalapeño jam. Practice the guitar. Bonus points if you can find something you can include your kids in.
3. Find that middle ground that works for you. Some have settings that shut down apps after a certain amount of time. Some keep a time journal. This way, your kids can see that responsibility can help you stay in control, but still get that sweet, sweet scroll time to unwind. In other words, don’t hypnotize yourself too long, but don’t deprive yourself of these amazing devices either.
So go ahead. Scaffold. Show them that as a parent, you can set limits and control this smartphone-sized issue. Enjoy that time you do allow for yourself.
And if you ever find yourself in the virtual wilderness of a survivalist game, know that you’ll always be welcome in Joshopia.
