“I threw a milk-drenched nursing pad in the hamper. When laundry day came, I was shocked to find that the milk had spoiled and left black mold on everything that it touched.” —Bernice, Colleyville
“You know you’re tired when you wake up, stumble to the bathroom, keep the lights off so you don’t wake your husband, put what looks like Sensodyne on your toothbrush and quickly learn it’s Desitin butt paste that you’re cleaning your teeth with.” —Shelley, Highland Village
“My two girls overheard me jokingly tell my mom that their stepfather looked like Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. Fast-forward a couple of years … When my older daughter entered kindergarten, she started telling everyone that her Mommy was married to ‘Daddy Dwayne, The Rock.’” —Amber, McKinney
“My initial reaction to things is usually ‘What the h%$#?’ I’m watching my 4-year-old daughter and 2-year-old son look in the pantry for a snack. My daughter gets a snack, and all of a sudden I hear my son yell, ‘What the h%$#, Eden?!’ because she took the last oatmeal pie.” —Jheri, Lewisville
“I had just started potty training my 2-year-old. We were leaving a museum, and she told me once we reached the parking lot that she had to potty. It was too far to go back inside, so I did what any sane and rational mother would do … used a blanket and a McDonald’s cup as a parking lot toilet.” —Brittany, Dallas
Got a parenting fail you’d like to share? We’d love to hear from you. Send it to firstname.lastname@example.org.