Confessions: Mommy Fails / Maxi pad bandages and other true stories

ILLUSTRATION
Mary Dunn
PUBLISHED
April 2017 in
DallasChild, FortWorthChild, NorthTexasChild, CollinChild
UPDATED
March 27, 2017
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My 7-year-old son was showering in my shower when he started screaming. He used my razor and took the first layer of skin off his shins and forearms. The wounds weren’t deep but long, and he had to wear maxi pads as bandages.” —Lynne, Fort Worth
 
“I walked into the kitchen to find my 4-year-old kicking the back door and yelling, ‘Damn it.’ When I asked him what he was doing, he said, ‘I’m playing damn it, Mommy. I jiggle the keys in the lock then kick the door and say damn it, like you.’” —Jill, Colleyville
 
“I was driving on Interstate 635 with my 5-year-old daughter in the back when a gold-colored car cut me off. I yelled, ‘F*@$&ing idiot car.’ My daughter took that to mean that all gold cars were called the expletive I said and repeated it every time she saw a gold car.” —Robbie, The Colony
 
“I accidentally locked my 9-month-old in the car in the driveway with my cell phone. I had to break a window to my house with a brick, climb in and get the spare key.” —Alex, Dallas
 
“My 9-year-old daughter spilled spaghetti sauce on her new white jeans so I decided to bleach them. I must have let them soak too long because the next time she wore them to school, she came home missing a pocket and with both legs split just above the knee.” —JoAnn, Flower Mound
 
“Let me start by saying that I have four children under the age of 5. One evening, after I’d cooked dinner, set the table and made everyone’s plates, all kids started to cry about something. I couldn’t take it. I flipped the table and went to my room, leaving my husband to do cleanup.” —Holly, Dallas

Got a parenting fail you’d like to share? We’d love to hear from you. Send it to editorial@dfwchild.com.

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